The Flight of the Bald Eagle

After last week’s tragic first loss in the football history of the Bald Eagle, it started to look that it may affect the players harder and longer than first thought. With the injury list looking longer than Moutis’ face when the Heinikin factory burnt down, it was obvious that the team would struggle to re-group this week. You know things are getting desperate when the team bench consists of players who will come on only if some-one injures themselves worse then the injury they already have. The team now has an easy to read chart which shows the 15 different levels of hamstring injury available and is crucial in aiding the bench with its rotation policy. Boz was still nursing a detachable toe and had briefly contemplated having a run. There was some confusion with the club doctor who told Boz to take six weeks off before he starts playing again. Boz is convinced he meant 6 days.

This week saw the road trip head out to the lush green meadows of Royal Keilor.

In case you hadn’t realized, I was being sarcastic! You would think all the lavatory waste being dumped out of the Boeing 747’s as they come into land at Tullamarine would improve the pitch conditions somewhat but instead they seem to be directly hitting the home teams change rooms, club room, bench and club officials. Well at least that seems to be where the highest concentration of crap is gathered!

In true style, the team arrived around 5 minutes before the game. Although in many players defence, the GPS network has yet to include the Keilor region which does make it difficult to find. The Gobal Recession appears to have started having effects on some team players. Tranner and the Thai Super Freak have resorted to buying the one bottle of bleach to share. Let’s pray the team will chip in so they can dye the rest of their hair. The recession has also impacted on those players awaiting medical procedures. The Oztrian, Troise and the G-Train decided to go in as one when purchasing a new hamstring. Unfortunately, 1/3rd of a hammy doesn’t get you far these days. They just don’t make them like they used to. Considering the size of the hammy Thunder needs, he will just have to wait a bit longer, even on the big pay packet Channel 7 provides him.

Sein, our first fledging eaglet for the year, was thrown into the big league and performed well. In the 30 minutes of the game that this editor saw, La Trobe dominated (as per usual) but failed to capitalize and instead was down 1:0 from a counter attack. The second half was apparently a train wreck. Due to some confusion over the Hamstring Injury Identification Chart, the team was down to 10 players for the second half. Ronaldo (Cif) was unlucky not to convert when deemed offside by the unbiased Keilor ref. The final score was 2:0 and the second loss in a row has the football world reeling.