The Flight of the Bald Eagle

This rounds delayed match report has been severely shortened due to tragic circumstances. The 4:0 loss to Brunswick City was unprecedented for the Bald Eagles. In fact this editor had no idea about how to put a positive spin on such a loss as there has never been one in this team before. After 5 weeks he has finally managed to pick up a pen again – a move not deemed possible a month ago. The shock may prove to reverberate for weeks to come as players learn to deal with it. Moutis the club psychologist may be called in for some one on one counseling.

It was great to see Baxtarama back from the Middle East for his unsuccessful stint at the Iranian presidency. I did think he had a chance – the name Ayatollah Baxtarama really does have a nice ring about it. I believe reports of him having won more Golden Boot Awards than any other player was his downfall in the end, once the Revolutionary Guards worked out it wasn’t as prestigious as first thought. Let’s hope he picked up some handy hints which he can use to intimate opposition forwards with. Another great sight to see was the resurrection of the legend Troise. Having been preserved on dry ice during the off-season he was coaxed out of retirement to replace the injured Thunder. Muscle for muscle heh? The return was rather short lived as he also brought along the same stuffed hammy as Thunder which he neglected to inform club officials during contract negotiations. The first half was very sloppy in the defending from all players and it clearly showed that we were both short of players as well as many carrying injuries.

With the Oz-train, the Thai Super Freak, Slater and the Gabmeister all carrying injuries before the game it was only fitting that Boz joined this illustrious club. In what has to be a club first, he came down with a severe strain of detachable toe, which although not contagious, must be kept well clear of. This was soon discovered by every patient who walked too close to him whilst he was waiting in the Emergency Ward of the Frankston Hospital. Don’t even ask how he managed to drive an hour to the hospital with his detachable toe in his pocket. As a conesquence, the match report did not continue into the second half but from all reports the team did well to defend a 0:4 from the first half.