The Flight of the Bald Eagle

If the La Trobe season was Le Tour de France, then this round could best be described as rest day between Stages 15 and 16 before they hit the Alps.
For that reason, we’ve decided to go to our special interview with the great Irishman, Lou O’Cif, conducted earlier in the week.

Editor for La Trobe’s Media Organisation (ELMO): “Good morning O’Cif. We appreciate that you were able to find the time to chat with us”

Missen Footballer of the Year 2008, Lou “Mick” O’Cif: “No problem at all! Can I tickle you Elmo? Heee Heee!”

ELMO: Very funny! Great to see the Irish weather hasn’t eroded away your sense of humour. So what’s been happening abroad since leaving the Bald Eagles?

O’Cif: Funny enough, I’ve been flat out with the family business, which is fortunate as we’re currently in the off-season with the football.

ELMO: Flat out heh? I thought Ireland was in a recession

O’Cif: Yeah, we are, but the hydroponic potatoes are doing a roaring trade as a result. We hope to extend the product range coming into Christmas. We’re looking at sweet potatoes, yams and Eileen suggested parsnips but that could be a bit too radical. I think taking one step at a time is best at this stage. Actually, they were the wise words the General gave me in my last game as I stood up to take that penalty. He forgot to mention what to do after the steps though!

ELMO: You won Missen Footballer of the Year in your debut season! Do you take any added pressure coming into the 2009 season?

O’Cif: I think if anything it will only get easier. There was a lot of pressure last year due to the high transfer fee involved between both clubs and I really felt I owed the Missen boys something.

ELMO: Actually, there was no fee involved at all. In fact, the Bald Eagles all chipped in to make sure you got to the airport on time.

O’Cif: You may want to check your sources before you make false statements like that

ELMO: Whatever! So what can Missen United fans expect in 2009?

O’Cif: Well there are a number of awards up for grabs. I’m aiming for Missen “Mr Potato Head” Personality of the Year, the Miss Missen 2009 pageant title as well as the Missen MasterChef title for starters. My potato ice-cream is to die for!

ELMO: Well why stop there! You’re not getting a little ahead of yourself are you?

O’Cif: To tell you the truth, you are only eligible to win those awards once and I believe that I’m the only one left in Missen who hasn’t won yet, so I’m pretty confident. My kids cleaned up the awards last year and they sure let me know about it. To be sure, to be sure!

ELMO: What if someone new joins the town? I hear your Portugese brother Ronaldo is retiring again during the Aussie offseason and was looking at heading overseas for the big bucks.

O’Cif: Well you tell that flukey goal scoring freak there is only room for one O’Cif in this town and he’ll come when I invite him.

ELMO: I sense a bit of family tension there. Do you ever regret leaving a successful team like the Bald Eagles?

O’Cif: I must admit I do have the odd tear in my eye every now and then after I’ve read some of the match reports. I’m not sure if it is sadness or I’m pissing myself laughing. We had a formidable backline during my stint there and I do feel somewhat to blame for the way the backline has now been exposed. It’s like when you rip the spine out of a jelly-fish. Do you know what I mean?

ELMO: I didn’t think jelly-fish had spines?!

O’Cif: Exactly my point! Look I’m sure the backline will recover over time from my absence but it is a big void to fill. I’ve got to make the most of my younger years whilst I’m at my peak, so the move to Missen was necessary. I imagine I’ll return to La Trobe in 10 years or so. The twilight of my career! Hopefully, by then I imagine the backline will be also 10 years older.

ELMO: Ummm…. right! Maybe time to wrap this interview up. Thanks for your time and all the best for the new season.

O’Cif: No probs and “Go team!”

Back to the match report. Unfortunately, this round wasn’t the rest stage as earlier reported, which in turn did catch the Bald Eagles unaware against Melbourne Uni. It was great the team turned up, the weather was fine, there was some green grass ….um.. yeah I guess that sums up my match report.

Oh yeah, we lost 6:0